Tying self-worth to productivity, a common trap for aspiring authors

Tying your sense of self to your productivity may be affecting your mindset and holding you back from a happy and thriving writing life. Many writers have learned that the more they do or accomplish, the more valuable they are. It could even be what drew them to writing a book in the first place. Writing a novel, after all, is a huge accomplishment. It takes hard work, perseverance and ambition to sit down and pour your heart and soul into hundreds of pages. Then it takes grit and determination to navigate an industry that tells you no thank you at every turn. Here are four signs you’re tying your self-worth to your productivity (and some practices to help you get off the productivity hamster wheel).

1) You are addicted to productivity, writing or work

I know it may be hard to diagnose because it’s not a true addiction, but some thought patterns might indicate you’re “addicted” to productivity. One of these patterns is when you don’t feel good unless you’re doing something that you deem productive, be it writing, working or crossing things off a task list. You tend to feel like things that are not productive are a waste of time. When you’re tied up with family obligations or other duties and responsibilities, you may feel like you’re wasting precious time when you should be writing. When you’re not writing, you tend to think non-stop about getting to your computer. You get frustrated with things that prevent you from being there.

Practice: Take note of your thoughts for a week and see if they are pointing in this direction. If so, try and correct them with true thoughts, such as, spending time with family or friends or taking time to rest is just as important and valuable as doing something productive or my kids need me now and that’s okay, I’ll get to my writing when I get to it.

2) Your feelings about yourself go up or down depending on how much you get done

I knew I was tying my sense of self-worth to productivity when I realized that at the end of a productive day, I felt good about myself and at the end of a less-than-productive day, I felt bad about myself. Once I identified and began to pay attention to this thought pattern, it seemed ridiculous. Why do I think I’m good if I get a lot of writing done and bad if I don’t get a lot of writing done? That seems overly harsh. Can’t it just be that some days I’ll get more done than other days?

The truth is, some days our creativity will stall and some days it will flow. Some days we will be interrupted by life, emotional stuff or just generally blah feelings about our story. Can you be okay with that? Can you separate it from who you are?

Practice: Our hustle culture has forced the belief on us that accomplishments and achievements are what make us good, but let’s call that out for what it is. A lie. Refuse to internalize that thinking and remember that your value is not determined by your accomplishments. You are valuable and loved regardless of what you do. Seek out God and others who will remind you of that.

3) You have trouble enjoying the present moment

If you’re always looking ahead to a future where you’re a more successful version of yourself, you may be missing out on the gifts of the present. The things we have today might not always be ours so we should try and appreciate the present moment. To do that authentically, we need to stop thinking about what needs to be done. Sometimes our to-do list has to be tossed out the window or cut in half. Sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves to be everything and do everything is not reasonable.

Practice: One practice that helps me focus on the present is to commit to being completely attentive to whatever I’m doing. That means not thinking about the past or the future, but steering my wandering thoughts back to exactly what’s happening right now. Another practice is gratitude. It’s hard to remember all that we have when we’re hyper-focused on making what we don’t have ours. Writing it down helps a lot.

4) You’re overly self-reliant or believe you can control things you cannot

You’re afraid of taking a break or vacation because you think you have to hold up the entire world. You think you’ll miss out on something if you rest and that the harder you work, the sooner you’ll see success. Stop and breathe, writer friend. I have spent all of 2023 learning how to rest because I ended 2022 in severe burnout. God designed us to work and rest. And even if you don’t believe that, you can acknowledge that we have human limitations we can’t ignore. Ignoring our limitations is a recipe for serious illness or burnout. Science proves this. Stress causes a myriad of health issues. We need sleep and we need rest. We work more creatively and productively when we have both. My biggest obstacle has been learning to hand outcomes over to God. I can do my part and work hard, but ultimately it’s not me who controls the publishing industry, the trends, the agents and the market. All of these things can make or break our success and they have nothing to do with our hard work or talent.

Practice: Set aside time for rest and breaks. Be okay with not being productive every free moment. Remind yourself of what you do and don’t control. The outcomes of our writing are ultimately outside our control. Begin to view success and readership as a blessing not a guaranteed result of hard work.

It took me many years to identify these patterns of faulty thinking. I was fully integrated into hustle culture and truly believed I was only useful and valuable when I was doing. I also believed I could control my success through hard work. It wasn’t until Jesus invited me into rest and slowing down, that I learned how to sit calmly and peacefully in the present moment. It wasn’t until I learned about His love and care for me that I could be free of placing my identity and sense of self in my writing outcomes.