The mindset challenge that derails your success as an author (It’s not what you think!)
Authors face many mindset challenges along the writing journey. Nurturing a healthy mindset is crucial for a successful writing life. We talk a lot about self-doubt and imposter syndrome, but there’s another mindset challenge that is often neglected. We need to be aware of it because it’s at the root of so much of the pain and blockage along our writing journey. Many writers have an unrealistic view of their writing ability. This is completely normal for writers, but it’s important to be aware of because our beliefs dictate what we do, so we need to get them aligned with reality. Anne Lammott describes how writers are prone to this faulty thinking in her writing book Bird by Bird:
“If you are not careful, station KFKD will play in your head twenty-four hours a day, nonstop, in stereo. Out of the right speaker in your inner ear will come the endless stream of self-aggrandizement, the recitation of one’s specialness, of how much more open and gifted and brilliant and knowing and misunderstood and humble one is. Out of the left speaker will be the rap songs of self-loathing, the lists of all the things one doesn’t do well, of all the mistakes one has made today and over an entire lifetime, the doubt, the assertion that everything that one touches turns to shit, that one doesn’t do relationships well, that one is in every way a fraud, incapable of selfless love, that one has no talent or insight, and on and on and on.”
What she’s describing is our brain’s inability to think realistically about ourselves and our abilities. We either think we’re much better than we are or much worse and often these two extremes fluctuate in dizzying ups and downs along the writer journey. So, what are the dangers of succumbing to either of these types of thinking? Failure. At both ends and for different reasons.
The danger of overestimating your writing ability
What it looks like:
Envious and superior thoughts, such as, “I can write so much better than ____________, how come they’re published and I’m not?”
Thoughts about being the exception, not the rule, “Other people get lots of rejection letters, but I won’t.”
Overconfidence in a piece of writing, “This is going to win the writing contest.”
Inability to take feedback or criticism, “They don’t understand what I’m trying to say.”
Expecting praise instead of critique from editors or feedback partners, “They are going to love this and have a hard time finding anything to fix.”
Yes, sometimes there can be truth to these thoughts and that’s okay. The problem with all of them is that they lack humility. Humility is a characteristic that writers need in order to improve and grow. We need to entertain the fact that we might not be as good or as seasoned a writer as we think because that opens the doors for learning and improvement. This means not comparing ourselves to or judging other writers (we don’t know what they’ve been through to get where they are). It means assuming we are not the exception to the rule because that blocks us from deep learning. For example, if you believe you are someone who has an intuitive understanding of storytelling (when the majority of writers need to be intentional and work on this skill), then you are depriving yourself of learning crucial skills that could lead to your success as an author. The same goes for feedback. If you think your story is great already, you will not be open to accepting feedback that could help you improve your story. In short, a lack of humility is limiting your growth and potential for success.
The biggest pitfall of aggrandizement of your writing ability is that it will typically lead you straight into a huge crash of discouragement and underestimating your ability. It feels awful! The pattern looks like this: I enter a writing contest, sure I’m going to win. I spend time imagining myself with the proverbial first-place ribbon. A few weeks later I receive the email that says, not only did I not even place, but I didn’t even get an honourable mention. I double check my submission to make sure nothing is wrong with the file. How could this happen? If there’s nothing wrong with the file and I didn’t even place, then I must be a horrible writer. This brings me directly to the other extreme of unrealistic thinking.
The danger of underestimating your writing ability
What it looks like:
Fixed mindset, “I’m not talented enough to be a writer.”
Negative self-talk, “I’m no good or I suck at writing”
Sweeping generalizations, “I was rejected so I must not be good enough”
Exaggerating criticism or rejection, “Everyone thinks I’m awful, so why bother?”
Hopelessness, “I’ll never be any good or I’ve never been any good.”
Interpreting feedback too harshly, “I didn’t know there was this much wrong in my manuscript, it must mean I’m an awful writer.”
Again, I want to reinforce that it’s completely normal to have thoughts in both extremes. But it’s painful and it derails our success if we begin to believe them. When you decide you are not cut out for writing and you’ve made a huge mistake thinking you could be a writer, guess what happens? You quit. Or you stop writing. Or you take a long break and have trouble getting back to it because you feel so discouraged. Even if just a day ago or a week ago, you thought you were the greatest writer of all time! The fact that we fluctuate so much between these extremes should indicate to us that our thoughts are not grounded in reality. They are feelings we’re having in the moment because we’ve experienced a triggering event.
I’m a book coach and developmental editor who helps clients with a realistic view of their abilities. I want my clients see what they should realistically be able to accomplish considering their experience, time and effort. Most of my clients are too hard on themselves. They believe that they should be able to turn out a first draft that is on par with a published novel. The reality is that all writers write in iterations, building out writing concepts and proficiency over several drafts and with a number of editors and beta readers. The process takes a lot of time and a lot of practice. This is the case for 99% of writers, but you don’t always have full visibility into another author’s process because most people only talk about the good stuff. Above all, be gentle with yourself. Take the dangerous thoughts captive, and call them out as lies. If you need good quality guidance to help you improve and think realistically, get in touch to learn more about my coaching and developmental editing services.
