I’m stepping back from querying

I try to speak about the query process and my own experience trying to get a literary agent as honestly as possible. My goal has always been to be transparent and show just how difficult the industry can be, even when you’ve done all you can to create a great story. Too often, we only see people posting about the wins and the good stuff and it makes us feel like we’re doing something wrong. On that note, I want to be completely honest about where I am right now with my querying.

First round of queries

In January 2023, I sent out 25 queries to literary agents and one small publisher. I was really hopeful because I had a novel that was my thesis project from my MFA program. It has been reviewed by two professors in the UBC Creative Writing school and revised with their feedback. We Won’t Go Quietly is the third and most proficient novel I’ve written. I worked especially hard on storytelling, character and plot, implementing much of what I learned in my MFA program along with many of the things I teach my clients as a book coach/dev editor. I spent time gathering and implementing feedback from professors, peers and betas. I didn’t want to rush this novel, so I spent about three years writing and revising it.

I first got the idea for We Won’t Go Quietly while I was finishing my MFA. I had a hair dresser who was a Christian man and passionate about helping the homeless in our city. One day when he was doing my hair, he told me how he walked weekly downtown to hand out things things like water and warm clothes to each person he encountered living on the street. Not only that, he would spend time praying with each of them. He was telling me about a world of invisible people who were a part of our city. I was ashamed to say, I hadn’t really thought much about them.

He invited me to come out one evening and I agreed. It was January, but not a frigid evening and four of us walked from one end of the city to the other after dark. As we walked, they showed me parts and pieces of this hidden world. We stopped in an alleyway where there was a dumpster that had poetry carved into it. Some of it was sad. And some hopeful. They showed me the place where men lined up in their cars and trafficked women got inside. They told me how they prayed with these women. They told me about something called ‘street snacks’: food that was tossed into the trash by one person who had all the food they needed and snatched up by another who hadn’t eaten in days. They also told me about teenagers living on the street. I didn’t think it was possible, surely someone would do something about that. But since then, I have seen young people with my own eyes who come back again and again to live in tents in the cold, either because they are struggling with addiction, being exploited or simply cannot return to their abusive homes.

That night when I got home, I sat down at my dining room table and wrote down everything I had seen. I knew I wanted to tell a story about young people living on the streets. I began volunteering weekly with an organization that brings food to the tent cities and poor communities in my town. I made the conscious choice to open my eyes and acknowledge the people and children living on the streets or those with food and housing insecurity. My book is fiction, so it’s not meant to replace or replicate any memoir or lived experience. Lived experience will always be more accurate. But I wanted to write a story that got people thinking about this invisible population, just like my hair stylist got me thinking about it. My hope has always been that this story will open a door for others to begin to see. The more we see, the more we will be inspired to help.

Since I wrote my book, the housing crisis has only grown worse. Many more people have lost homes and now live in tents or overflowing shelters than when I started writing my novel. 24 of my queries were rejected, but I did get one request by a small Canadian publisher to read my full manuscript. I sent the full manuscript off in March and was hopeful for a positive response. I decided that since I didn’t get a lot of requests on my queries, there was likely something not hooking within my query package. I paused queries for most of the year to do a few revisions.

Revisions

If you’re getting lots of requests but rejections after agents read your manuscript, then you likely need to work on your manuscript. If you’re not getting requests, then you likely need to work on your query package. Unfortunately, I was getting rejections based only on my query package and not getting any feedback on why it was being rejected. They were all form letters. For that reason, I decided to get more feedback from other writers on my query package. Having time away from my manuscript allowed me a few “aha” moments that I thought would improve the story and plot. I spent several months doing another revision to the manuscript as well as rewriting my first chapter (part of the query package) and revising my query letter based on feedback I received from other querying writers. This took me into the fall when I was finally ready to do a second round of queries. In the meantime, I was waiting and praying that the publisher who had my full manuscript would respond with a “yes”.

Second round of queries

From Oct-Nov 2023 I sent out another 25 queries. Again, I was hopeful because I had made improvements to my query package. I thought these would catch the eye of agents and I’d get a few more requests. I was also still praying almost daily for an answer from the publisher who had my full manuscript. That seemed to be my most promising lead as they had expressed enthusiasm and someone was finally going to be judging my story based on actually reading it, not on how well I pitch. Rejections came again, leaving me feeling pretty hopeless over the holidays. Nobody seemed interested in my story, nor was anyone giving me any feedback on how I could improve things. All I got were form rejections. I cried and prayed for direction over the holidays. The most frustrating thing was that I didn’t know if I needed to do more to improve or if the “nos” were simply due to circumstances beyond my control, like maybe there wasn’t a market for this type of story.

Feedback and a rejection from a publisher

The publisher who had my full manuscript had it since March - 9 months. I knew I needed to follow-up/nudge them, but I guess I was afraid of what I’d hear back. Again, after sending 50 queries, this was still my only request and strongest lead. In January 2024 after the holidays, I finally worked up the courage to ask them if they’d had a chance yet to read my manuscript. I received a rejection right away from the senior editor. The good news was that this rejection was the first to provide feedback. They enjoyed my writing and the story idea was compelling, it’s just that they had others on their list with similar stories so couldn’t move forward with mine. This is still the only feedback I’ve gotten in my entire query process.

Stepping back from queries

It’s really hard to know how to move forward when you’re lacking feedback from the people who are rejecting you. If it’s a case of too many similar stories, then maybe I need to keep querying to find the right publisher. If it’s something that’s not strong enough in my writing or query package, then maybe I need more revisions. Right now, I just don’t have enough information to know what to do. In my heart, I feel I’ve expended as much time and energy as I can right now to make this a strong story and query package. I feel that I need the right champion, agent or publisher to help me get it to a level that is good enough. Trying to do that by myself or with feedback partners is like going in circles, not knowing if I’m meaningfully improving things anymore.

I’m a person of strong faith. I believe if God wants this story out in the world he will make a path for it. One I cannot force or make happen on my own. This is a hard decision for many reasons. The first is because I don’t like to give up. I will do whatever it takes to try harder, work harder, adjust, revise, edit, learn. However, God has also been teaching me about the harms of my “Try harder” attitude. Self-reliance is exhausting and leads to burnout and overwhelm. Something I’ve struggled with. Plus self-reliance is not enough. Our effort alone doesn’t guarantee success, results or happiness. This is one of the many lessons I’m learning in this waiting period. We can’t force or make things happen on our own, there is too much beyond our control. For these reasons, I think I will stop querying and revising this novel for now. I feel I need to put it aside even though I continue to pray that God makes a way for it to be published. I care about this story deeply and I believe it’s a well-told and crafted story. Perhaps the timing is just not right.

I’m so thankful for the supportive writing community I’ve found on Instagram. So many people I met there have been my beta readers and critique partners and have cheered me on as I sat hopefully in the query trenches throughout 2023. Thank you! Also, I’m working on a new story now. It’s always wise to have more than one book to query. I’m trying to stay hopeful and optimistic about my writing. I appreciate your encouragement and prayers.